Playtime?

By Shin Freedman

Playfulness is a state of mind characterized by spontaneity, curiosity and a sense of enjoyment. It is a quality that brings lightness to life, fosters deep connections and enhances overall well-being. My friend Susan, a realtor, embodies playfulness. She plays pickleball daily, cracking jokes about her "unstoppable" serve — even when she misses the ball half the time. At gatherings, she celebrates her real estate successes by picking up the tab for her friends and sharing her joy with them. Yet, when discussing business matters, she listens attentively and offers wisdom from her years of experience, balancing lightheartedness with sincerity.

After sledding down a steep hill on our windy driveway during a heavy February snowstorm, I asked my 6-year-old grandson if he was scared at all. He summed up his experience succinctly, "My fun feelings were much bigger than my fear-feelings." We laughed, played and relished the moment. At one point, I nearly tumbled sideways from the sled but managed to regain my balance. The thought of struggling through knee-deep snow to get back on track was enough motivation to stay upright. Most importantly, it was pure fun.

Reflecting on this moment, I wonder when I last experienced such unfiltered joy. The carefree nature of sledding with my grandsons left no room for worries — only the thrill of the ride. After all, what was the worst that could happen in our own driveway? It was a picture-perfect winter scene: two sleds gliding down the icy, snow-covered path, with my husband and I each riding alongside a grandson.

Growing up in postwar Korea, laughter and playfulness were rare luxuries. Winters were brutally cold, and outdoor activities were limited. Homemade sleds were primarily for boys, and as a young girl, I had few opportunities to engage in playful winter pastimes. Looking back, I realize how cultural norms shaped my childhood experience of fun. Expectations for girls were different; responsibilities often overshadowed carefree moments.

I believe that playfulness should not diminish with age. Children are naturally playful; they embrace fun without hesitation. Cultural expectations, however, often impose restrictions on playfulness. Playfulness is distinct from silliness or goofiness — while being silly can mean acting childishly without regard for context, a playful person remains aware of social cues and adjusts their behavior accordingly.

Cultural norms significantly influence how playfulness is expressed and perceived. In collectivist cultures, playfulness may be more subdued to maintain group harmony and respect for authority. In contrast, individualistic cultures often encourage open humor, self-expression and playfulness, even in professional settings. Some cultures view playfulness as a sign of intelligence and adaptability, while others associate it with a lack of seriousness.

Being playful has its rewards. It does not mean disregarding responsibilities but rather striking a balance — allowing joy and connection to coexist with duty. Playful individuals tend to be more likable, approachable and socially connected. Studies show that playfulness enhances cognitive flexibility, boosts creativity and improves problem-solving skills.

I want to embrace more playfulness in my life, like Susan or my grandkids. The constraints of my childhood should not limit my ability to experience fun now — especially when fun-feelings outweigh fear-feelings. Life is too short to take it too seriously all the time. Whether through sledding, laughing with friends, or finding humor in everyday moments, I hope to cultivate more joy, curiosity and playfulness in years to come.

Shin Freedman ([email protected]) is an author, writer and educator.