Musical showcase explores toxic relationships

By Jon Dunbar

A new musical concert, titled "When an Empath Meets a Narcissist," explores the many questions in relationships and how we deal with them, asking if we do these things purposefully, whether we can change or if we are always stuck in these patterns of behavior and thinking.

These aren't easy topics, but that's what composer Nicky Juanite wanted to tackle with the tool she's best with — a musical performance. She invites audiences to reflect, heal and transform.

"Why are some people naturally kind, while others seem incapable of kindness? Why do we fall into toxic relationships — whether in romance, friendships or the workplace? Why do some bosses or colleagues turn into bullies? And why do some of us find ourselves caught in a cycle of giving, always carrying the weight of others' emotions?"

She suggests that the answer may lie in generational trauma, which she defines as "unresolved pain passed down through families, shaping the way we connect with others as adults."

"What if the bully was once a wounded child?" she asks in an online invitation. "What if the deeply empathetic person, always giving, learned that survival meant anticipating the needs of others?"

She invites audiences into an uncomfortable but necessary conversation about toxic relationships, manipulation and healing. Through music and storytelling, the talented cast explores the four stages of a narcissistic relationship — love bombing, trapping, devaluation and hoovering — while urging viewers to recognize and break free from destructive cycles so that healing can begin.

“I want to take the audiences on the highs and lows and to make them feel uncomfortable so that they can start to confront these possibilities in life,” said Nicky, who is credited as writer, artistic director and executive director of the production.

The two-act performance follows two main characters, a man and a woman, but Nicky emphasized that this is about more than romantic relationships. “It’s about understanding where these patterns come from and why we unconsciously repeat them," she said. "The goal is to help people recognize these cycles in their own lives and to hopefully tackle these issues as opposed to ignoring them and continuing the cycle.”

Aiming for something beyond art, she hopes to start a movement that will "end generational trauma and build a healthier, more self-aware future."

“I want to challenge viewers to face uncomfortable truths and empower them to reclaim their emotional freedom," she said. "Breaking the cycle isn’t easy, but it’s necessary. If we want a healthier future, we have to start with ourselves.”

She hopes to give an emotional and psychological depth that will stick with audiences even after the performance ends. She took inspiration from her own personal experiences with family, friends, lovers and colleagues, as well as stories she has heard from others throughout her life.

Nicky is originally from a small town in the Philippines, where she and her brothers used music as an outlet growing up. In music, she found a new way to express herself, whether it was just playing notes on a piano or writing songs. However, her family initially didn't agree with her direction, fearing the irregularity that comes with being an artist, and even some of her professors at university questioned her choices.

Her life took an unexpected turn when she went to Japan. While there, she met a professor from Seoul National University (SNU) at a performance after-party. She expressed her doubts to him, and he said something that stuck with her: “You’re a composer, you break rules.”

This chance encounter also kicked off her journey to Korea, which began officially 10 years ago. With the help of the professor, she applied and was accepted to SNU’s music composition program. She has since earned a bachelor's degree in Korean music composition there and went on to study for a master's degree at the Korea National University of Arts (K-Arts). The first performance of "When an Empath Meets a Narcissist" also marks her graduation from K-Arts.

Looking ahead, she aspires to pursue a degree in music therapy, focusing on supporting survivors of narcissistic abuse and students struggling with depression.

"When an Empath Meets a Narcissist" stars Ellen Szulc, Kim Do-hun and Mahur Alishahpo, with behind-the-scenes work by co-music director Martins Baumanis and stage director Maria Fernanda Silva.

The 90-minute showcase will premiere this Friday at 7:30 p.m. at Casa Amigo in central Seoul's Gyeongnidan neighborhood. Guests are asked to show up at least 15 minutes early. Entry is free, but there is limited seating available on a first-come, first-served basis. Reservations are available online.

Follow @empathnarcissistmusical on Instagram, or visit jjoenic.wixsite.com/soundslikenicky for more information.