From frustration to inspiration

By Casey Lartigue Jr.

In moments of frustration or impatience, Americans often count to 10 to regain composure. Living in South Korea, I’ve found myself taking this practice to new extremes — counting to 10, then continuing to 110, and then back down to 1. As chairman of the board of Freedom Speakers International (FSI), this method of self-control has served me well, especially in the early days of our revamped board.

At our initial meetings, I couldn’t help but wonder what my fellow board members — all South Koreans — were thinking. Their conversations often revolved around travel and food rather than the organization’s work. While I could understand this at the first meeting, by the third and fourth, I found myself on the brink of walking out without informing them. Instead, I started counting — up, down and in every direction — and reminded myself that I’m in Korea, where relationships often take time to warm up. Slowly but surely, things began to change.

I have served on the boards of directors and trustees for several organizations over the past two decades, and each has offered unique lessons and challenges. This was the first time I was the board chair and it seemed I had not learned anything from those years of experience. Some boards were highly professional and focused, making decisions with precision and purpose. Others were contentious, plagued by back-stabbing, gossip and unnecessary drama, which created toxic environments. I have also experienced boards that were fun, engaging and inspiring, like the one at the Black Alliance for Educational Options (BAEO). For many years, I considered BAEO to be my most rewarding board experience.

But FSI has surpassed even BAEO as the most inspiring and uplifting board I’ve served on. Our first meeting of the year, held on Jan. 18, reaffirmed why FSI stands out. It was more than an administrative gathering — it was a celebration of shared values, mutual support and genuine impact.

One of the most inspiring moments came when board members pledged to support a Matching Donation Challenge sponsored by an American organization. Their generosity and commitment demonstrated their belief in FSI’s mission and their determination to help it thrive. Their dedication reminded me of the deep sense of purpose that unites us.

As I have pointed out in a previous blog post, it is South Koreans who work behind the scenes to support North Korean refugees although most reporters search for evidence of discrimination by South Koreans. The South Koreans working behind the scenes to support us are our paid staffers, major supporters and our board members who are lawyers, businesspeople, freelancers, medical professionals and accountants.

The meeting itself was a testament to engaged and supportive participation. I opened the meeting with a review of our 2024 activities and plans for 2025. FSI co-founder Lee Eun-koo presented a detailed overview of our financial information and a comprehensive deep dive into our budget ensuring transparency and clarity. Board members asked thoughtful questions and offered constructive feedback, showing their deep investment in FSI’s success. It was serious, focused and yet there were plenty of smiles and even shared laughter as we discussed our work.

Behind the scenes, Eun-koo’s efforts continue to be the backbone of our operations as she handles countless responsibilities, including preparing board materials and coordinating logistics. Her dedication keeps the organization running smoothly.

After the meeting, we invited three North Korean refugees from FSI’s Keynote Speaker network to join us for dinner. This gathering was another highlight of the day.

Han Song-mi, whose memoir "Greenlight to Freedom" I co-authored, learned that several board members were enthusiastic supporters of hers. One board member had even purchased 100 copies of her memoir and personally shipped them to libraries, taking the time to write out each library’s name — an act of thoughtfulness and dedication that moved her deeply. Three other board members shared how much they had enjoyed reading her story, further affirming her impact.

Jang Sharon, another North Korean refugee, also experienced a heartwarming moment when she discovered that some board members had read her book and were fans of hers. Their admiration for her work left her feeling seen, valued and supported.

Kim Su-jin, a relative newcomer compared to Sharon, who has been with us since 2015, and Songmi, who joined in 2019, has already made an impression on our team and continues to grow in her role. She has set up a Substack account, has given several speeches and meets with us regularly to find ways she can get more deeply involved with us.

Over dinner, it was also a humbling experience for me personally. I could feel what pancakes feel like when syrup gets poured on top — so sweet! Several board members spoke in loving and supportive terms about my contributions to FSI, which was both encouraging and deeply touching. Moments like these remind me how lucky I am to work alongside such compassionate and dedicated individuals, even though I initially resisted becoming the chairman of the board.

The cherry on the top was when my co-author, Song-mi, talked about me changing the direction of her life in a positive way. Four years ago, she didn’t believe me when I said she had the potential to become an author and speaker. It has happened and she doesn’t miss an opportunity to thank me for my leadership and vision.

Interestingly, the board members maintain a respectful distance from the North Korean refugees, admiring their stories without forming personal connections. This approach reflects a professionalism I have come to value through my experience on other boards and did not expect with this board. By staying focused on governance, strategy, and organizational development, the board ensures the organization’s continued growth and impact.

This board meeting was more than just an administrative gathering — it was a celebration of collaboration, mutual support and a shared commitment to FSI’s mission. Together, we are building something truly meaningful. And for the past several meetings, I haven’t once had to count to 10.

Casey Lartigue Jr. ([email protected]) is the chairman and co-founder of Freedom Speakers International with Lee Eun-koo, and co-author with Han Song-mi of her memoir "Greenlight to Freedom: A North Korean Daughter’s Search for Her Mother and Herself.”