Growing up, I wasn’t taught much about money directly. My parents never sat me down to explain the intricacies of budgeting, saving, or the value of money. Instead, I learned through observation. I noticed when there wasn’t enough for a new pair of shoes or a dinner out, and I knew we lived a solidly middle-class life. Today, my husband and I find ourselves in a different financial position—living in an affluent area where the trappings of wealth are all around us. Our neighborhood has beautifully maintained parks, pools, and water parks, and our family even owns a golf cart, which is almost a staple here.
I thought I was giving my kids the best childhood possible until my four-year-old asked why we didn't have a "bigger golf cart." That simple question made me realize that my kids are growing up with a different perception of money, one where abundance is the norm, and financial struggles are out of sight. I realized I needed to start teaching them about money, gratitude, and financial responsibility much earlier than I had anticipated. Here’s how I’m doing it.
1. Limiting Gifts to Teach Appreciation
I’ve always loved holidays, birthdays, and the magic that comes with a pile of beautifully wrapped gifts under the tree. For years, I embraced the excess, enjoying the joy that a mountain of presents brought to my kids on special occasions. However, as my kids grew older, I began to notice a troubling pattern. The excitement of receiving was quickly replaced by the expectation of more, and the joy of a single gift seemed diluted by the sheer volume of what they received.
That’s when my husband and I decided to set strict limits on gifts—five for birthdays and ten for Christmas. We want our kids to appreciate the thought and effort behind each gift rather than just the quantity. This approach not only helps reduce the stress and expense of holiday shopping but also reinforces the idea that more doesn’t always mean better. We hope that by focusing on fewer, more meaningful gifts, our children will learn to value what they have rather than constantly craving the next new thing.
2. Introducing Chores Early to Foster Responsibility and the Value of Work
In our household, everyone has responsibilities, no matter how small they are. My four-year-old feeds the dogs, puts his dirty laundry away, and helps tidy up the playroom. Even my two-year-old has simple tasks like putting his dirty dishes in the sink. It’s not just about keeping the house in order; it’s about instilling the idea that everyone contributes to the family and that work is a part of life.
We’ve recently introduced a lemonade stand as a fun way to teach our kids about earning money. While I helped with the social media aspect, my older son did most of the work, from setting up the stand to interacting with customers, and he was thrilled to pocket his earnings. He made $26 that day, and more importantly, he learned that money doesn’t just appear—it’s earned through effort.
By introducing chores and simple ways to earn money early on, we hope our kids will grow up understanding that money is tied to work and effort, not just something that magically appears because mom or dad pulls out a credit card. We’re laying the foundation for them to appreciate the effort it takes to earn a living, even in a world where wealth often seems effortless.
3. Saying No Even When We Can Afford to Say Yes
One of the hardest lessons for any parent is learning to say no, especially when you can easily say yes. Living in an affluent area means that opportunities for spending are everywhere—from designer kids' clothes to over-the-top birthday parties. It’s easy to fall into the trap of indulging every whim, especially when you have the means to do so. But I’ve found that saying no is often more valuable than saying yes.
Take, for example, our recent visit to Build-A-Bear. My husband and I decided to treat our kids to the full experience, and as expected, it quickly became a favorite outing. Now, every time we pass the store, my kids beg to go back, excited by the prospect of adding another bear to their collection. The truth is, we could afford to buy them more bears or accessories, but we often say no. I want my children to understand that just because you can buy something doesn’t mean you should.
We’ve also established a rule that toys are generally reserved for holidays or special occasions, or if they decide to use their own money. This teaches them that they can’t always get what they want immediately, a crucial lesson in delayed gratification that many adults struggle with today. Learning to handle disappointment and understanding that money is a finite resource are important skills that will serve them well into adulthood.
4. Being Transparent About Money and Life's Realities
Children are naturally curious, and they ask questions that often force us to confront complex topics. Recently, during a trip downtown, one of my boys noticed a homeless person on the street. He asked me what that person was doing and why they had so many things with them. In that moment, I realized this was a perfect opportunity to teach empathy and understanding about life’s challenges.
I explained that not everyone has the same opportunities and that sometimes people end up without a home for reasons beyond their control. I emphasized that while some situations might stem from poor decisions, others are the result of circumstances that are hard to change, like job loss, illness, or systemic barriers.
I also use these moments to explain to my kids that while we are fortunate, we should never take our lifestyle for granted. I tell them that being rich doesn’t just mean having lots of money; it also means having a loving family, good health, and a supportive community. I want them to understand that wealth comes in many forms, and the material aspect is only one part of it.
By being open and honest about our finances and the different circumstances that people face, I hope to foster a sense of gratitude in my kids. I want them to recognize their privilege, not in a way that makes them feel guilty, but in a way that encourages them to be compassionate, empathetic, and financially responsible individuals.
Final Thoughts
Raising kids in an affluent environment comes with unique challenges. It’s easy for children to grow up with a skewed perception of money and to develop unrealistic expectations about what life will be like. By limiting gifts, introducing chores early, saying no when necessary, and being transparent about money, I’m working to instill a balanced view of finances in my children. I want them to appreciate what they have, understand the value of hard work, and recognize that money is a tool—not a guarantee of happiness. My goal is to raise kids who are not only financially savvy but also empathetic and grounded, no matter where life takes them.
English (United States) ·