God Help Us, People Are Actually Thirsting After Mark Zuckerberg

In the year of our lord 2024, the scourge of AI has become inescapable, even in pop culture. There’s a robo-character named “Max” catfishing on The Circle, A24 is using the tech to make movie posters, and these days we can’t even tell if a Drake diss track is real. Now, AI has given us an even bigger challenge to overcome.

Soon after Mark Zuckerberg posted a video announcing updates to Meta’s AI assistant, a doctored image of him (perhaps also altered by AI?) went viral. From there, it was absolute chaos as X users took it all in—from the cool-guy vibes to the scruff to the empathetic smile. And then, the unthinkable happened: people began thirsting after Mark Goddamn Zuckerberg.

Anyone who has spent even five seconds looking at the real Mark Zuckerberg should be able to tell that Hot Zuck—the Stefan Urquelle to Regular Zuck’s Steve Urkel—has had a little Facetune-style work done to him in that photo. His jaw is thicker, his forehead has had a little digital botox, and the edit has also capped his teeth with some nice, white veneers. Most importantly, you can actually see the light of life in his eyes. The only real bit of drip in this photo is the chain, which is, unfortunately, 100 percent real.

Read more at The Daily Beast.