In this day and age where love is considered a goodnight text and flings are considered the norm, the distinction between true love and friends with benefits is a little hard to comprehend. This week, Annie received many whys and hows in surviving this very complicated world, falling in love or – in some cases – falling out of it…
Dushmanth: Annie, I’m 21 and single. All my friends are now with a significant other except for me. I have crushes, but I can’t seem to get any of them to go out with me. When my friends want to hang out, they all bring their girlfriends unless it’s a very specified ‘guys’ night’and I can’t help but feel out of place. Sometimes it’s even awkward, so I ditch those events. What do I do?
A: Being single at 21 is not a crime. Nor is it any reason for you to avoid social gatherings and your friends. In fact, 21 is the perfect age for you to enjoy the single life. Date plenty, search your options and the right girl will come along for you. If you feel awkward or out of place when you hang out with your friends and their girlfriends, figure out why. Is it because you’re single? Or is it because you don’t really know your friends’ girlfriends that well? Get to know them too, that way; you will be hanging out with a bunch of your friends instead of ‘your friends and their girls’.
Ayomi: Annie, I have been having a crush on a guy for quite a long time now. After I told my best friend about it, I found out that the guy in question actually likes her. And the worst part is, she likes him too. She wanted to know if I was okay with them going out. I feel so betrayed right now. What do I do?
A: Well… love triangles are the most common in this generation. There is almost never the right answer because they end up hurting one person or the other. I suggest that you talk with your best friend and tell her how you feel. Always remember though, ‘sisters before misters’. It would be best if you would resolve this issue with your best friend rather than allow a boy to come in between the two of you.
Sandra: Annie, I accidentally sort of kissed my friend who already has a girlfriend. But he kissed me back! We agreed it was going to be a one time thing but now I have feelings for him. Also, it wasn’t a one time thing. We made out several times after that. What do I do?
A: Okay, the best thing you can do here is talk to him about it. Don’t tell him much about the fact that you have feelings for him because if the feelings aren’t returned you will only feel pathetic and sad. Talk. Ask him what his stance is, because he is after all cheating on his girlfriend. Based on the talk you have with him, you make a decision. Would you rather keep your best friend and hide your feelings or tell him how you feel and face the possibility of losing your best friend?
Dilum: I have a very concerned issue. My girlfriend seems to be getting closer to my best friend. He tells me that she calls him at least twice a day. He is a very handsome guy with sexy eyes. When I ask her why she calls him daily, she just smiles and asks what’s wrong in calling his best friend. I love her and cannot lose her. Tell me what to do.
A: The best thing is to educate your friend on this sensitive issue. If he is your best friend he will stop answering her calls. You tell your girlfriend that your best friend’s girl had traced the frequent calls of his mobile and that she is unhappy. If you both are best friends you together can solve this problem.
(Having relationship problems? Parental problems? Or even simple social situations that confuse you? Send an email to Annie at firstname.lastname@example.org with your woes and needs and Annie will provide solutions)