(An extract from a teacher’s diary by Rashmi Liyanage)

Ms Yarny, the story girl, had a different story today.

“Teacher, an elephant and an ant got in to a motorbike and rode at a ridiculous speed. Unfortunately, they met with an accident. The elephant was severely injured but the ant didn’t get a single scratch. The elephant was unconscious and was hospitalized immediately. Few hours later he regained his consciousness and opened his eyes. But, to see the ant was in the next bed without any injury. Why was the ant kept in the next bed?”

“Was it the same couple who got married and had a baby elephant?” I asked

“No, he is the uncle of the ant wife”

“Ok may be the ant had internal bleeding,” I gave a nifty answer.

“No, you are wrong teacher. The answer is… “

Oops, dear diary, long to know the answer she told? This time you can’t get it easily. You too think and try…

Like the famous ‘cunning hare and witless lion’, Gnurus, our doggy was beaten by Burus, the kitten. With the whole month of tender loving care he received, Burus revitalised and spanned out his control all over the house. Though he is quarter size of Gnurus, he is four times shrewder than a dog. He appeared to be a pirate with his lost eye. The kitten has now taken control of Gnurus by nothing but showing his sharp claws off and on. (He must be trying to take the revenge from the doggy for losing his precious eye). Our poor little doggy Gnurus, undergoes huge psychological trauma these days due to these changes and sleeps all the time and has nightmares! His howl echoes like a siren of an ambulance. By taking advantage of Gnurus’ fear, Burus uses guerrilla tactics to attack the dog with or without any provocation. Poor Gnurus! Even kings lose their power someday…
PS. Yet thinking about the ant? Good! Try your best.

It was a lesson on love and affection in my Grade Eight. Malindi, the troublemaker, just stood up and asked me “Teacher, how do you write ‘Mage Rankanda’ in English?”

The whole class started to giggle.

Oh my word! What am I going to say? I really didn’t know what to say.

“On what earth do students bother teachers for these stuff?” I was frustrated.

“Teacher, this is the 21st century. We too have hormones like others.”

“Yeah whilst you have hormones, I have nerves, which I don’t want to lose. Anyway if you exactly want to write it, then write your love letter in Sinhalese,” I said

“Oh Teacher, how can I? He is Muslim. Please teacher, tell me how to write it in English. If we split, then the fault is yours,” said the girl.

Alas! As I’m planning to get married in a few months and I cannot let such a misery happen. I made up my mind. I gave her a list of endearments!

PS. Excuse me, Mr Diary, now don’t scold me for encouraging them! The word list can be used not only for lovers but also for all the loved ones.

Dear diary, I’m extremely sorry for what happened to you this morning. You were always there for me to share my feelings. I know it is painful to look at you since you were beautiful before. I never thought Gnurus would bite your leather cover and destroy your dazzling appearance within seconds. But you know, I got to excuse him for such mischief as he is in extreme psychological distress these days. For you to tell, recently he had eaten my leather slipper, which I bought for Rs. 3900/= (I kept this a secret as I feared that he would be punished). This is life. Yet, you are spared to write on for the next five months. Afterwards, no matter you are pretty or not I would have to use a new one. A new page, a new cover with a new ribbon on it!

I know you were worried about Ms Yarny’s ant. Sorry! I kept you waiting. I will tell you the answer! The ant was there to donate blood for the injured elephant.